


Coca Cola Conspiracy

by sanhascroissant



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Conspiracy, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, okay its crack but it gets hella deep for a hot second, the author is suspicious of Coca Cola and also JYP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-16 00:11:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14152419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanhascroissant/pseuds/sanhascroissant
Summary: “JYP is purposefully getting us addicted to sugar free Coca Cola for reasons as yet unknown, but certainly diabolical.”“I’m sorry, what the fuck?”





	Coca Cola Conspiracy

**Author's Note:**

> Basically, I watched Stray Kids over Spring Break and I wanna know why tf they’re always drinking sugar free coke. Are these boys ok??? Please send them help. 
> 
> Enjoy!!!  
> Leave comments/kudos if you enjoy!!

Lee Minho was generally a patient person. He prides himself on his patience, in fact. Who else would be able to pull themselves off of the ground again and again, despite constant failure and elimination?

But when Jisung looked him dead in the eye and said, “JYP is purposefully getting us addicted to sugar free Coca Cola for reasons as yet unknown, but certainly diabolical,” Minho kind of wanted to throw him out the window.

“I’m sorry, what the fuck?” He asked, wiping sweat from his brow. It was late, way too late for Jisung’s conspiracy theories.

Despite the late hour and the speed at which he had entered the practice room, Jisung didn’t seem fazed. “Did I stutter?”

Minho sighed, putting his hands on his hips, the towel dangling uselessly from his hands. He shifted his weight onto his left foot and lifted his eyes to Jisung.

“Right. Sugar free Coca Cola. Go on, please,” Minho said sarcastically. Jisung didn’t seem to pick up on his tone as he beamed and launched into his explanation.

“Okay, so Felix was the first to notice,” Jisung began and Minho just sighed because of course it was Felix who started this mess.

“Everywhere we go, there’s just sugar free coke. It’s hard to even find water, Minho. But coke? It’s everywhere.”

Jisung said this like it was extremely suspicious, and Minho tried his best not to roll his eyes.

“Jisung, they probably just have a partnership with coke where they get paid a lot to feature the drink on the show,” Minho reasoned.

“Okay, that’s what I thought originally too, but they don’t mention a paid sponsorship anywhere in the show’s credits! So if there is a partnership, it’s illegal! And JYP isn’t dumb enough to do that,” Jisung said confidently.

Minho opened his mouth to retort but shut it again. Jisung was right, he couldn’t argue with that.

“So,” Jisung plows ahead, “there must be another reason.” He looks expectantly at Minho, and his eyes are just too excited for Minho to discourage him.

“Uh huh,” he says, moving over to put his towel down. Jisung follows him. “What do you think it is?”

“Well, if there is always sugar free Coca Cola available, then the obvious conclusion is that they want us addicted to it.”

“That makes no sense. Coke isn’t good for you, sugar free or not, and they’re trying to make us into successful idols.”

“I never said it made much sense to want us addicted!” Jisung yelped. “But it’s the obvious conclusion!”

Minho nodded, sitting down on the floor, pulling out a new towel from his bag. “Okay,” he said, as Jisung sat down next to him. “Continue.”

“Okay, so basically we, that is, Felix and I, presented the problem to Chan at once, because he’s way smarter than us, and he didn’t believe us at first but after we explained he totally got it and he was really shook, Minho, you wouldn’t believe.”

Minho would believe. Chan was really existential and also fairly convinced that the government was spying on all of them, so the concept that the company could be brainwashing them in this small way wouldn’t be so unbelievable to him. Minho just hoped he hadn’t completely shut down as he contemplated it.

“And then Woojin came in and was like, ‘what’s happening?’ And so we told him, but he didn’t really believe us, and tried to talk Chan out of it, which didn’t work because Chan is way too woke for that,” Jisung continued.

“Of course,” Minho said, deadpan.

“And things kind of spiralled from there. Seungmin and Hyunjin didn’t believe us, but Changbin and Jeongin have sense, so of course they were on our side.” Jisung sat back on his hands.

Minho wasn’t surprised by how that had gone down. Seungmin and Hyunjin were too realistic to get into such a ridiculous idea and usually Changbin would be too.

But then again, once one factored in Felix’s devotion to the idea and Changbin’s devotion to Felix it made perfect sense that he’d supported the theory.

As for Jeongin, that boy was young and thought the strangest things were true since his worldview wasn’t done developing. A Coca Cola Conspiracy wouldn’t be the craziest thing he’s believed.

“Okay, yeah. That sounds about what I would expect,” Minho conceded.

“I know! So Jeongin snuck out and bought some regular coke, and we all tried it and it doesn’t even taste like coke to us anymore, Minho. We all just want the sugar free one, so clearly their plan is working!” Minho raised his eyebrows.

“But then we, that is, Me and Felix and Chan and Jeongin and Changbin, wanted to know why they would want us addicted to sugar free coke, so we called a team meeting.”

Minho was forcefully reminded of the feeling of content and warmth in the dorms whenever a team meeting was called. They would have sat in a circle, members piled onto the couches, some perched on the sides of the chairs as they talked. Minho couldn’t help but feel a pang in his heart as he was forced to acknowledge yet again that he was no longer a part of that team, that family.

He swallowed back the hurt. “And what conclusion did you all reach?”

“We haven't reached a conclusion yet,” Jisung said, looking a little confused.

“What? Then why even bother having a meeting?”

“Minho…” Jisung looked sad for some reason. Minho tilted his head and squinted, confused.

“What? Why do you look so sad?”

“Minho, we called a team meeting. That means we need the whole team before we start.”

Minho just looked at him.

“Okay…?”

Jisung sighed. “It hasn’t started yet, you idiot, I’m here to get you.”

Minho just blinked at Jisung, not really processing. Jisung just sighed and reached forward, putting his hand on Minho’s thigh.

“I’m a little hurt, Minnie,” he said, but his voice held only warmth tinged with sadness. “How could you shirk your duty as a member of our team? You aren’t trying to avoid us, are you? Because that would be mean.” His voice betrayed him, breaking off at the end. As he heard, Minho remembered that his elimination hurt the others too, maybe more than he had known.

He scooted over and leaned his weight against Jisung. “Sorry, Jisungie,” he said softly. “I won’t shirk my responsibilities again.”

Jisung nodded and took hold of Minho’s hand. “You better not,” he said, and both of them pretended not to hear the way his voice choked up as he said it.

Lee Minho does not have a lot of regrets. But his greatest, surely, is his elimination from Stray Kids. Not necessarily because of the loss of his own personal ability to debut - Minho was reasonable and he knew that he would certainly debut at some point. He had failed to debut before and picked himself up and moved on, so it wasn’t that. The greater regret is the loss of debut with that specific team, with those specific people. And though he loves them all, he most of all regrets losing Jisung.

They aren’t dumb, they know that Jisung will be busy and Minho might change companies after his very public elimination from a JYP group. They know that they won't get to see each other often. And Minho also knows that he will carry that burden, that feeling of loss and inadequacy that comes from such a cold elimination, for the rest of his life.

Eventually, they get up. Jisung bounces towards the door. “Come on Minho!”

Minho grins. “Okay, hold on. I just need a drink, I’ve been practicing for hours.”

He toward the counter in the corner where the drinks are kept, but recoils immediately once he sees the options.

It’s all just sugar free coke.

“Shit,” Minho says, a little panicked. “Jisung, help, it’s all just sugar free Coca Cola.” Maybe it’s the late hour, or Jisung’s enthusiasm, but this conspiracy is seeming more and more viable.

“It’s an epidemic,” Jisung says seriously, and they leave the practice room hand in hand, Jisung assuring him they can get some water back at the dorm.

“But what if we can’t?” Minho counters, a twinkle in his eyes. “What if we turn on the tap, and all that comes out is sugar free coke?”

Jisung laughed loudly, and it echoed down the empty hall, drowning out Minho’s insecurity and doubt, letting pretend that he was a part of the team again, if only for a moment.

(Turns out that he would be a part of the team again, and it would be for far longer than just a single moment. Stray Kids has nine letters and nine members. It’s just the way it is.)


End file.
